Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Way We Were

Growing up as a girl is not an easy feat. I recall that I was always filled with self doubt and insecurities. I remember envying my beautiful popular friends in high school. I HATED picture day. I was always placed next to the most attractive people in the year book. It was like I was the part of the sandwich you don't like so you take it out. To this day I still hate getting my picture taken.

The seeds of insecurity are rooted deep within us are they not?

I was a girl who didn't have a "click" that I hung out with. I got along with everyone. Although I didn't date much in high school and having a boyfriend meant you were pretty…and likable…and pretty and not to mention popular.

But nobody liked me like that. I was always told that I was such a good friend. So I often found my Friday nights dateless sitting at home on the couch watching some show on t.v. wishing that I was out with some cute guy that I currently had a crush on.

High school is rough! And yet I survived. I went through college and dated a little bit and had some relationships. Some good some bad. :-D

My self confidence is a lot better than it used to be but I was thinking about how we constantly compare ourselves to others and putting ourselves down.

Okay Now it's your turn! what was or is your insecurity you struggle with?


  1. My insecurities aren't really centered around how I look. I'm more concerned that people find me annoying. I like to think I'm funny and charming, but I have this terrible insecurity that the second I'm out of earshot, people are complaining about me or mocking me. Know why? Because I often complain about people and mock them behind their back. It's karma.

  2. I find myself doing that to and I shouldn't be surprised that the same thing would happen to me.

  3. I think it would be a shorter to list the areas where I don't struggle with insecurities. Is that sad or what? (lol)

  4. Howdy! Let's see, insecurities? Just one? Well, it would have to be that when people read my stuff they'll think I need a brain transplant. Who knows, maybe I do. He he.

  5. J. Kaye,

    You are totally right. It's so sad that the list for things where we dont' struggle would be super short.


    I feel the same way most of the time!

  6. OMG my biggest insecurity is my writing! I have an agent (on top of the world) but I can't help it! I still doubt myself. Massively. It's my personality. But I keep trying my best. Keep moving forward.

  7. Lisa,

    Congratulations on having an agent. that is amazing!! Thanks for the encouragement. You keep moving forward also. :-)

  8. Melissa--thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such a nice comment. I'm just getting over a blogging slump during the end of the school year for my kids, I will be updating more often in the future. I love the look of your blog! When I think back to jr. high, I was a jumble of insecurities, about how I looked, how clumsy I was, how unsure of social situations I was--always saying the wrong things. And then, high school happened and things straigtened out. But those gawky days are never too far from my subconscious!

  9. I'm not sure anyone ever really completely recovers from high school style comparisons. The insecurities go away or ease off after successes and experiences but they can ping back right in as soon as something goes wrong in adulthood. I always compare myself to others and I feel less adequate and/or less lucky. The lack of luck thing is an issue at the moment but I'm using writing to counteract it. It can be cathartic but also it fills the unlucky hours and creates the potential for fortune to arise. :)

  10. Thanks for the sweet comment at A Nudge! I don't know about this "not liking to take pictures" thing, but I adore your profile pic right now. :)

    My insecurity? Well, I'm super self-conscious. So in person, I'm actually kind of meek and a little awkward. I'm no good at making conversation, and I think part of it is I'm over-thinking all of it.

  11. I've always been insecure about my weight. In high school i was a lot thinner than i am now, but I still didn't have boyfriends - my experience was a lot like yours. I did have good friends though and rarely sat home on a friday or Saturday night. The dateless wonders found each other and we made our own fun. I'm still insecure about my weight, but it does help that my hubbie loves me and thinks I'm beautiful even though I'm large.

    thanks for visiting my blog and becoming a follower.

  12. Hey girlie I've got an award from you over at my blog! Check it out!! Add to your collection!

  13. things really do get better after high school i believe. at least it did for me!
    and i have an award for you in my latest blog post, check it out!